Posts Tagged "學習"

Written by: Peggy Ho Pui Yee, Founder and Volunteer Executive Director of Good Love Passion

Being overly critical is the most common mistake parents make in disciplining their children. The phrase “love deeply, scold severely” reflects the emotions of most parents. Parents often fear that their children will develop any undesirable behavior during their growth, which may have lifelong consequences. Therefore, when disciplining their children, parents often resort to meticulous criticism as a way to remind them. In reality, making mistakes is an essential part of a child’s growth process. As children constantly change and grow, parents need to adapt to their developmental needs and adjust their approach to dealing with their behavior, even changing the way they interact with them.

For example, when a child fails to complete their homework on time, parents should calmly handle this common occurrence, as it is an opportunity for the child to improve and grow. Similarly, when a child talks back, it may indicate their emerging independence and critical thinking skills. It doesn’t necessarily mean they lack respect for their parents. As children grow older, they develop their own thoughts, opinions, and perspectives on various aspects of life. They also desire parental acknowledgment. As parents, we may not agree with these behaviors, but even in disagreement, we can understand the underlying needs of our children. This allows us to communicate more effectively with them and utilize appropriate disciplinary methods.

“While knowledge can change destiny, attitude determines everything!” Explosive anger and harsh accusations from parents are ineffective in discipline and serve no purpose. When parents understand how to gently and firmly assist their children and incorporate respect into daily life, children will develop a better understanding of rules and boundaries. Consequently, they will exercise more self-control and establish their own standards for behavior. With these standards in place, they will naturally become more independent, responsible individuals. Therefore, parents should establish boundaries in their children’s daily lives during their early childhood stages.

Since the age of one and a half, my daughter understood that writing is done on paper. Therefore, even at the age of 3, she has never stuck a sticker on the pristine walls of our home. She knows her boundaries and understands that a responsible child should keep the house clean. It is her responsibility. Parents establish guidelines for children to follow before discussing whether they are obedient or not.

When setting boundaries for younger children, it is important to be clear and specific. For example, you can say to a toddler, “If you can’t do it, it means you’re not behaving.” However, for young children, the term “not behaving” is vague and difficult for them to grasp. In addition, when setting boundaries, it is necessary to establish the consequences of not complying. It is important to emphasize that these consequences are “results” and not “punishments.” Consequences are simply the natural outcome of an agreement between both parties, operating under natural laws, and they are distinct from punishments. For example, after playing, if a child is expected to clean up their toys, they can continue playing next time only if they tidy up. However, if they don’t clean up, according to the previous agreement, their toys will be confiscated for two or three days.

At this point, parents must make it clear to the child that this is the natural consequence of not fulfilling the agreement, not a punishment. Another example is when parents discuss with their child the time limit for watching TV or using electronic devices and set specific time boundaries. Similarly, if the child exceeds the designated time and doesn’t turn off the device, according to the previous agreement, they won’t be allowed to watch or use it for the next three days. When setting boundaries, parents need to ensure they are reasonable. Otherwise, it would be unfair to the child, making them more likely to cross the boundaries and become disobedient in the future.

While parents have the responsibility to teach children proper behavior, if the methods used are too impatient and harsh, lacking an understanding of the child’s growth process, it may lead to negative effects. Therefore, we should provide children with experiences of taking initiative to change for the better, engage in serious discussions, rather than resorting to severe punishments. Approaching the situation with a calm and composed demeanor can assist children in transforming their mistakes into opportunities for growth. Just like how children inevitably fall while learning to walk, we encourage them to pick themselves up and take another step forward.

When faced with a child’s misconduct, it is important to consider how to handle the situation in a way that fosters their ability to change. People generally do not intentionally make mistakes; the reason for making mistakes is often due to a lack of awareness. Making mistakes is not inherently frightening for children; what is truly concerning is making mistakes without understanding where they went wrong or how to correct them. If parents can approach their child’s mistakes with the right mindset and guide them towards making corrections using appropriate methods, these mistakes can become opportunities for reflection and progress. It also enhances the chance for communication between parents and children. Let us transform our children’s mistakes into beautiful errors.

撰文：GLP 全力愛創辦人兼義務總幹事林何佩儀

吹毛求疵，是父母管教子女最容易犯的錯誤；「愛之深、責之切」，是一般父母的心情。父母常恐懼孩子在成長過程中，學壞了任何的不良行為，會貽害終生。因此，父母在管教子女時，常常以無微不至的批評來提醒孩子。其實，孩子犯錯是成長的必經之路，孩子在成長過程中不斷改變，父母必須因應他們的成長需要來處理他們的行為，甚至改變與他的相處方式。

例如孩子未能依時完成功課時，父母應平靜對待這件平常不過的事，因為這正是讓孩子進步和成長的機會。又例如孩子駁嘴，可能顯示他們開始學習獨立思考，並不一定是對父母不尊重，只是當孩子日漸長大，自我主張開始出現，有自己的思想和看法，對現實生活中的各項事情有自己的立場，同時渴望得到父母能認同。作為父母，當然不贊同這些行為，但即使不贊同，也可以了解孩子背後的需要，這樣我們便能更有效地和他們溝通及運用恰當的管教方法。

「知識雖能改變命運，態度卻取決一切！」父母大發雷霆橫加指責，對管教從不湊效，毫無意義。當父母懂得溫柔而堅定地幫助孩子，將尊重帶進日常生活中，孩子便會更了解事情的規則和界線，這樣他們以後就會更有分寸，也會為自己的行為建立一把尺。有了這把尺，他們自然會成為自理自主和負責任的人。所以，家長應在孩子的幼兒階段時，便在他們日常生活中定立界線。

筆者的女兒自 1 歲半開始，已經明白字是寫在紙上的道理，所以當她 3 歲時，也從不在家中雪白的牆上貼過一張貼紙。因為她清楚知道自己和我的界線，也了解一個自理的孩子應當保持家居的整潔，這也是她的責任。父母讓孩子有遵循的方針，之後才去談他們是否聽話。

對年齡較小的孩子，立界線時要具體清楚說明，例如你跟幼兒說：「若果你做不到，就表示你不乖。」其實對於幼兒來說，「不乖」是模糊的字眼，他們難以捉摸。此外，立界線時必須訂出若未執行的後果，筆者需要強調是「後果」，並非「懲罰」。後果只是結果，從雙方的協議中定立，所以它們是在自然法則下自然運作的結果，和懲罰完全是兩回事。例如當玩耍完畢後，孩子要自行收拾玩具，收拾好下次可以再玩；但如果沒有收拾，按照之前大家的協議，玩具就會被沒收兩天或三天。

這時候父母必須清楚讓孩子明白，這就是他沒有履行協議的自然後果，並不是懲罰。又例如父母可以和孩子商討看電視和使用電子產品的時間，並訂下時限。同樣地，如果孩子過了限定時間還不關機，按照之前大家的協議，往後三天都不可以再看或使用。家長立界線時要注意合理性，否則就是入孩子於罪，孩子容易觸犯到界線，將來不聽話的可能性反而更大。

雖然父母有責任教導孩子正當的行為，但若方法過於急切與嚴厲，對孩子成長過程缺乏認識與理解，反而可能導致負面作用。所以我們要讓孩子有主動改過的經驗，要嚴肅討論，並非嚴厲懲罰。心平氣和能協助孩子將錯誤轉化為成長的養分，就像孩子學走路的過程中難免跌倒，我們會鼓勵孩子自己慢慢爬起來，再跨出步伐。

面對孩子犯錯的行為，該如何處理才能培養孩子改過的能力，是我們更該關注的。一般人很少故意會去犯錯，人之所以會「犯錯」，通常都是因為沒有「覺知」，會錯就是因為不知道。其實，孩子犯錯並不可怕，可怕的是犯錯卻不明白錯在那裡，不知怎樣才能改好。父母如果能以正確的心態面對孩子犯錯，以適切的方法引導孩子改正，犯錯也能成為檢討和進步的轉機，增進親子間溝通的機會，讓孩子的錯成為一種美麗的錯誤吧。

Source: Speech Therapist, Miss Carley

In order to help children learn a language, parents use various methods. Have you ever considered singing as one of the methods? Music is an international language and is highly engaging for children. We also have many different ways to use music to assist children in language learning.

One simple method is called “lyric filling.” This method can be used for children who may not yet be able to speak or can only say a few words. Parents can try using this method. Choose a familiar song that the child knows, such as “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” However, instead of singing the entire song, use a single syllable to sing the entire song, for example, “ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.” Then suddenly stop and wait for the child to hum or sing the remaining syllable. Parents can encourage the child to vocalize that particular syllable.

The second method is to sing action songs with children, which involve movements. For example, the well-known song “If You’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.” You can sing this song with the child while performing different actions. Through this, children can learn different movements and some nouns and vocabulary.

Interestingly, music can enhance children’s memory. Have you ever noticed that there are many songs we heard when we were young or many years ago, and even if we haven’t sung them in years, we can still remember the lyrics? Therefore, we can simply sing the ABC Song with children to teach them basic English letters. We can also learn numbers with children, for example, “One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indians.”

If we want to teach children the English names of the days of the week, we can sing “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday” with them. By incorporating vocabulary into music, it makes it easier for children to remember the words.

The fourth method is to try singing out certain phrases, similar to singing. We can also use props to assist, such as simple flashcards. For example, if we want to say, “Chan Siu Ming is eating an apple,” we can sing it out using a musical approach, which enhances the child’s motivation and interest in communication.

資料來源：言語治療師媽媽Miss Carley

為令小朋友學習語言，家長都會使用不同方法，有想過唱歌也是其中一個方法嗎？音樂是一種國際的語言，對小朋友來說是很有趣味性的，我們亦都有很多不同的方法，利用音樂幫助小朋友學習語言。

最簡單的一個方法叫作歌詞填充法，對一些可能未懂得說話，或只會說一些單字的小朋友來說，家長可以嘗試利用這個方法。家長可以選擇一首小朋友比較熟識的歌，例如Twinkle Twinkle Little Star，但這次就不唱這首歌出來，只用一個單音去唱整首歌，例如ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma，然後突然之間停下來，等小朋友哼唱剩下來的那個音出來，可以鼓勵到小朋友讀那個單音出來。

第二個方法就們可以與小朋友唱一些稱為Action songs，即是牽涉動作的歌曲。例如最為人熟悉的If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands。這可與小朋友一邊唱，一邊做不同的動作，從中小朋友可以學到不同動作和一些名詞和詞彙。

原來音樂都可以加強小朋友的記憶，大家有沒有發覺有很多歌我們以前小時候或很多年前聽過，就算很多年沒有唱，其實還會記得這些歌詞。因此，我們跟小朋友可以簡單地唱ABC Song，可以教小朋友學簡單英文字母 ，又或者可以跟小朋友學數字，例如one little two little three little Indians。

如我們想小朋友學日子的英文名，這樣可以跟他們唱Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday and Sunday，這樣可把一些詞彙加入音樂裡，令小朋友更容易去記詞彙。

第四個方法就是可以嘗試把一些說話，好像唱歌般唱出來。我們可以同時找一些道具幫忙，例如簡單的鋼片，例如我們要說：「陳小明，食蘋果。」則可用一些唱歌的方法唱出來，加強小朋友溝通的動機和興趣。

撰文：家庭動力心理治療師、兒童遊戲治療師　李惠婷

新學年，小朋友又要開始默書測驗。雖然默書看似簡單，但其實要運用到的技巧非常複雜，所需要用到的叫做「分散性專注力」，要一邊在腦袋中尋找字的筆劃寫法，用手寫出來，一邊要豎起耳朵聽著老師閱讀，並記著下一個要默的句子，邊寫邊聽邊記，有時寫錯字還要先刪掉再寫，與時間競賽，超難的呢！

所以，要掌握默書的技巧和得到好成績，就要同時掌握「聽、寫、記」三個技巧，以及提升一心可以幾用的「分散性專注力」。

要讓默書變得有趣，可以將這幾項技巧訓練變成遊戲。一方面遊戲的趣味性增加孩子學習的興趣，讓一個惱人的練習變成親子遊戲時間；另一方面，更重要的是要增加孩子的成功感，從遊戲中得到大人的鼓勵，孩子們自然會愈來愈喜歡學習。

訓練幾種技巧的遊戲可以分開的，以下提供一些例子，家長們可以嘗試一下呢！

一）聆聽的遊戲

由大人讀出英文句子：“There is a rabbit on the table.”，小朋友把句子的內容畫在畫紙上，只畫圖，不寫字，這是訓練聆聽的部分。

只畫圖，不寫字，這是訓練聆聽的部分

小朋友很喜歡調轉角色，由他們讀句子，大人默書，甚至可以修改大人的字，這讓他們有成功感，又可以訓練正確讀音，閱讀過又仔細修改大人的錯字（家長們可以刻意寫錯），增加對串字或寫法的記憶。

二）中英文寫字的遊戲

1. 中文字複雜難記，加上用筆寫字，其實對孩子來說不但抽象，而且難以牢記的。寫字練習可以不用筆寫，而嘗試運用身體各部分寫字，利用不同的感官加強記憶。例如：
   在沙盤上寫字，讓手指接觸沙的感覺，提升對字的記憶。
2. 使用不同質感的材料砌字，例如紅豆、泥膠和不同質感的手工材料等，更可配合顏色，例如響音用紅色，其他字母用綠色，增強記憶。
3. 大人用手指在孩子的身體各部分寫字，讓他們估出甚麼字。例如手掌、背部和額頭等，當然視乎孩子的能力而定；或倒過來由孩子寫在大人身體上亦可。

手指接觸沙的感覺，提升對字的記憶

三）分散性專注力遊戲

其實很多遊戲都訓練這種專注力，例如「爭櫈仔」，要邊聽音樂，邊留意著椅子的位置作出反應；「冚棉胎」，要邊數／聽數字，邊打開咭，又要留意數字的配合作出反應等等。

現時有些桌上遊戲都是這樣設計的，介紹一個遊戲叫作「moo斯密碼」，孩子要邊聽到密碼，腦海中想著密碼所代表的圖案，記著密碼的次序，最後要找出相合圖案的圖咭，雖然很複雜但又很刺激呢！