家長天地 – 育兒資訊

12四月2024

Written by : Pario Children, Parenting Education Centre

 

Childhood and family have a profound impact on a person. How do parents influence their children’s growth? How to cultivate good behavior and character in children? Is it correct and effective to use rewards and encouragement?

 

Do not turn love for your child into a reward

It is often heard that parents say, “If you behave, daddy will shower you with love.” Parents think this is providing positive reinforcement, encouraging positive behavior in children, but shouldn’t the companionship of mom and the affection of dad be unconditional? Love and affection should not be contingent on being well-behaved! A child’s self-worth should not be equated with their behavior or achievements.

 

Do not turn existing habits into rewards

Some parents might say: “If you behave, we will go to the park on Sunday!” When the child behaves in a “naughty” manner, parents cancel the child’s original plan to play in the park, letting the child learn to bear the consequences. Although this is one of the parenting methods, if the child originally has the habit of going to the park every day, and the parents use “going to the park” as a reward, is this really a reward? This is just continuing the daily routine! Of course, if the child does not usually have the opportunity to go to the park, this reward would be very attractive to a child who naturally loves to play!

Clearly explain rewards and good behavior

Rewards are necessary! But parents must carefully design or choose them, and the most ideal rewards are those that can attract children and are different from the daily routine. For example: going to the park for only 30 minutes every day, but today they can play for an extra 15 minutes; eating only one type of cookie for a snack every day, but today they can have two types. When rewarding, parents should clearly tell the child the reason for the reward, “Because you ‘put away your toys on your own’, mom and dad really appreciate you, so today you get ‘an extra cookie'”, letting the child concretely understand what good behavior is, and also understand the relationship between good behavior and rewards, giving them the motivation to continue displaying good behavior.

 

Provide unlimited support and encouragement

Children often need the support and encouragement of adults to have enough security and courage to try; sometimes, parents give a lot of encouragement, but the child still does not dare to try as expected, and sometimes parents will blurt out in disappointment: “I’ve held you for so long and you still won’t try, so I won’t hold you or kiss you!” What comes next is the child crying louder and being even more unwilling to try; even if the child is forced to complete the task, there is an additional emotional scar. Therefore, parents should give children unlimited support and encouragement, telling them: “Mommy has confidence in you, try again next time, you can do it!” Believe that when children have stored enough energy from encouragement, they will step forward.

 

Perhaps, in the process of parenting, parents neither want to be tiger parents nor can they avoid the competition in society, sometimes they may feel lost, but remember to respect the child’s innate traits, and let your appreciation and encouragement accompany their growth.

12四月2024

撰文: Pario兒童‧親職教育中心

 

童年與家庭,對一個人有著深遠的影響,作為父母是如何影響孩子成長?如何培養孩子的好行為和好品格?是否正確而有效地使用獎賞和鼓勵呢?

 

別把對孩子的愛變獎勵

經常聽到家長把「如果你乖,爸爸就錫曬你」這句說話掛在嘴邊。家長以為這是給予正面的獎賞,鼓勵孩子的正面行為,但媽媽陪、爸爸錫不是應該無條件的嗎?絕不是乖巧才值得被愛錫啊!孩子的自我價值不應該與自己的行為或成就劃上等號。

 

別把原有的習慣變獎賞

有家長會說:「如果你乖,星期日我哋就去公園玩啦!」當孩子表現得「不乖」的時候,家長便取消孩子原來去公園玩樂的時間,讓孩子學習承受後果。雖然這算是教養的方法之一,但如果孩子本來每天就有去公園的習慣,家長卻把「去公園」作為獎勵,這還算是獎勵嗎?這只是繼續每日的恆常習慣而矣!當然,如果孩子不是常有機會去公園,這個獎賞對天性愛玩的孩子便十分吸引了!

清楚說明獎勵與好行為

獎賞是必要的!但家長要精心設計或選擇,最理想的獎賞是能吸引孩子的丶是與日常不同的。例如:每天都只去公園30分鐘,但今天可以多玩15分鐘;每天都只吃一種餅乾作茶點,但今天可以吃兩種。在獎賞時,家長要明確地告訴孩子獎勵的原因「因為你『自動自覺收拾玩具』,爸媽很欣賞你,所以今天獎你『多一塊餅』」,讓孩子具體明白什麼是好行為,也了解好行為與獎勵的關係,有持續表現好行為的動力。

 

給予無限的支持和鼓勵

孩子往往需要成人在旁支持和鼓勵才能有足夠的安全感和勇氣去嘗試;有時候,家長給予了很多鼓勵,但孩子仍沒有預期中的敢於嘗試,有時候家長會因失望而衝口而出說:「抱咗你咁耐你都唔肯試,咁我唔抱你、唔錫你喇!」換來的,是孩子哭得更大聲更不願嘗試;即使孩子被逼完成了,但內心卻多了一道傷痕。所以,家長要給予孩子無限的支持和鼓勵,告訴孩子:「媽媽對你有信心,下次再嘗試,你會做得到!」要相信當孩子儲夠鼓勵的能量,便會踏步向前。

 

或許,家長在教養孩子的過程中,既不願做虎爸虎媽,又避不開社會的競爭,有時會感到迷茫,但謹記尊重孩子的天賦特質,讓你的欣賞和鼓勵陪伴他們成長。

5四月2024

Shirley LooPlaying and toys

 

Child, in my memory, you rarely asked me to buy toys during your childhood. I wonder if this has anything to do with that time when I took you away from home to “Fun World.”

 

Do you still remember standing in front of that plush toy? I made up many stories, saying that Ning Ning wanted to take them home, and they cried, saying “they didn’t want to leave their own home.” As a result, you believed it to be true and your heart softened, and you no longer pleaded with me to buy the plush toys. But it also let us know that plush toys were your favorite, so whenever we went on business trips, we would buy one to bring back for you as a souvenir. Do you still remember Dutchess, the cute brown pony?

 

Aside from plush toys, my memories related to toys are quite vague. I only remember singing games around the dining table after meals, playing with paper balls when you were recovering from a fever, and building sandcastles with you on the beach and catching crabs by the rocks, none of which involved spending money on toys.

 

I also remember setting a rule back then: no video games at home. You begged many times, asking why we couldn’t buy an X Paradise to play at home, and my response was: “Once a week at your cousin’s house is enough!” I wonder if this kind of “persistence” made you feel uncomfortable. I hope you understand the good intentions of your mother, which was not wanting your thoughts and attention to be captured by video games. Seeing you recently bought a video game console with your husband and are enjoying it at home, you’ve finally found someone to play with, haven’t you?

 

Recently, your father and I browsed through a toy store for a while, seeing a dazzling array of toys for adults, children, and babies. But we still firmly believe that no matter how fun toys are, they cannot replace the time parents spend playing with their children. After all, toys are not meant to “pass the time” for children, but are tools for creating happy moments between parents and children!

 

Ho YingToys 

 

When I was young and went shopping with you, I would always see children crying and screaming at the entrance of toy stores, clamoring to buy toys. However, this situation rarely happened to me, not only because I had a deep affection for every toy but also because I had you to play with me, making every day feel new even if I was looking at the same toys. The stuffed toys at home would not only perform in stage plays but also interact with the “audience” (which was me), and they would go shopping with me and chat with “friends” on the street or in the stores.

 

The only toy I really wanted but never got was a video game console. Every weekend when I visited my cousin, he would always play different games with me, like basketball, ones set in the Warring States period, and racing games, which made me want to own one so I could play at home. But you would always say, “It’s good enough to play with your cousin; we don’t need to own one.” Honestly, I really hoped that one day, when you came home from work, you would bring home a box of X Paradise, but that never happened.

Now that I’ve grown up, my husband and I finally bought one to take home. At first, I was very excited, thinking that I could play as soon as I got home. However, there were a few times when I was alone at home, I would play the video game for ten minutes and then do something else. It was then that I realized that what I enjoyed about playing was not the game itself, but having someone to play with. So, what’s important is not the toy, but the interaction with family and friends.

 

Children of today’s generation seem to only play games on mobile apps, and toys have gradually lost their status. Whether in restaurants or on the subway, the laughter of children is less heard, replaced by people of all ages looking down at their phones, the adults reading the news and the children playing video games. Most mobile games are single-player, merely interacting with a pre-programmed system, lacking the exchange between people. If possible, why not put down the phone, take out a stuffed animal or a robot, and bring the child back to that world full of fantasy and innocence!05

5四月2024

羅乃萱:玩耍與玩具

 

孩子,記憶中你的童年,是很少跟我要求買玩具的。不知這是否跟童年那趟,我帶著你離家出走到「歡樂天地」有關。

 

你還記得那趟,跟你站在那一隻只毛公仔的面前。編造了不少故事,說凝凝要帶它們回家,他們哭著說「不想離開自己的家」。結果,你信以為真心軟化了,不再向我哀求買毛公仔了。但也讓我們知道,毛公仔是你的至愛,所以每逢我倆到外地公幹,就會買一隻回來給妳留念。你還記得Dutches那頭啡色可愛的小馬嗎?

 

只是除了毛公仔,有關玩具的記憶都很模糊。只記得吃過飯後跟你一同繞著餐桌玩唱游,發燒初愈時玩的擲紙球,還有跟你到海灘堆沙堡,到岩石旁抓螃蟹等等,都不是一些花錢的玩意。

 

我還記得當時定了一個規矩:就是家中沒有電腦遊戲。你曾多次哀求,說為何不買一副X天堂回家一起玩,我的回應是:「一星期一次到表哥家玩就夠了!」不知道這樣的「堅持」,會否讓你感覺難受。希望你明白老媽的苦心,就是不想你的心思意念被電玩擄去。見到你最近跟老公在家買了一副電玩回來,玩得不亦樂乎。你終於找到一個陪你玩的人了,是嗎?

 

最近跟爸爸逛了一陣玩具城,看到琳琅滿目的玩具,大人的,小孩的,BB玩的都有。但我們仍然深信,即使玩具多好玩,都不能取代父母跟孩子玩耍的時間。畢竟,玩具不是用來「打發」孩子時間,而是用來締造親子快樂時光的工具啊!

 

何凝:玩具 

 

小時候跟你們逛街時,總會在玩具店門口看到小朋友哭著大叫,嚷著要買玩具。可是,這種情況很少發生在我身上,除了因為我對每個玩具有著深厚的感情,也因著有你們陪我玩,讓每天即使看著一樣的玩具,都會有新的玩法。家裡的毛公仔,除了會上演舞臺劇,還會和「台下觀眾」(也就是我)有互動,還會一起逛街,和街上或店裡的「朋友」聊天。

 

唯一一個我很想要卻沒得到的玩具,就是電子遊戲。每逢週末到表哥家,他總會和我一起玩不同的遊戲,有籃球的,有戰國時代的,有賽車的,讓我想擁有一台,那我就可以在家裡玩了。可是,妳總會說:「來跟表哥玩就好啦,我們不需要擁有的。」說真的,那時的我是多麼希望有一天,當你下班的時候,會帶著一盒X天堂回家,可是那沒有發生。

到現在長大了,跟老公終於買了一台回家。剛開始的時候,我是很期待的,想著回家就可以玩了。可是,有幾次當我一個人在家時,電玩打了十分鐘,就會做別的事。那時候我才發現,原來我喜歡玩,不是因著遊戲,而是有人陪著玩。所以,重要的不是玩具,而是家人朋友的互動。

 

現今世代的孩子,好像都只會玩手機程式中的遊戲,玩具漸漸失去了它的地位。不論是餐廳,還是地鐵上,少了孩子的笑聲,多了大大小小的「低頭族」,各人拿著自己的手機,大的在看新聞,小的在打電動。手機遊戲大多是個人遊戲,只是和早編寫好的程式在「互動」罷了,少了一份人與人之間的交流。若可以,不防放下手機,拿出一隻布偶或機械人,帶孩子回到那充滿幻想、童真的世界!

22三月2024

Written by: Octopus Parent, Mr. Leung Wing Lok

The registration for Primary One discretionary places has closed, and parents who have “bought and left” can only resign themselves to fate. During the period from now until the release of the allocation results, the only thing that can be done under the government’s school allocation system is to “wait idly.” There are still a small number of Direct Subsidy Scheme (DSS) and private schools accepting applications. Parents who are unwilling to participate in the lottery for the central allocation can try their luck with DSS and private schools. Moreover, there are many websites that list the application deadlines for self-financed and private schools. For parents of students who have already applied to DSS and private schools, especially those who are preparing intensively for interviews, I must remind parents to prioritize their children’s mental health.

Intensive interviews harm children’s psychology

Humans always tend to repeat mistakes. Every year, after the peak period of interviews in September and October has passed, there are many well-intentioned people and organizations concerned with children’s mental health reminding us not to let intensive interviews harm children’s psychology. From what I remember, the most shocking newspaper headline was “Unable to withstand the intensive interviews for Primary One, a 5-year-old girl becomes depressed and wants to jump off a building.” These young children, only 5 or 6 years old, still do not understand what primary school life is about, nor do they know the difference between good and bad schools. It’s all because of how parents describe them, saying “This is a prestigious school, but if you get into another one, it’s a disaster,” and so on, leaving the children confused and thus under immense pressure. There have been investigations by psychiatrists or groups showing that many children have developed symptoms of depression and anxiety, including suicidal thoughts, and need immediate treatment.

Depression that cannot be voiced

I remember, during my days as a journalist, interviewing veteran principals and psychiatrists. Some children, especially those who are more introverted and slow to warm up, might go through several interviews in a day during the busiest times. They play games and answer questions respectfully in front of a large number of unfamiliar principals and teachers. Afterwards, parents repeatedly ask about the content of the “games and answers,” and even scold or instruct them on how to respond without any reason, making it inevitable for some to be unable to bear it.

After becoming a parent myself, I have become even more mindful of what the psychiatrist said. Parents should not only pay attention to changes in their children’s daily habits, such as suddenly losing interest in their usual hobbies like watching TV, reading, and playing with toys—all of which are abnormal changes. More importantly, parents should be aware of their own changes. Have parents, in the process of preparing resumes and getting nervous about interviews, turned into a ‘Hulk’ at home, constantly in a state of anger, or have they put a halt to parent-child activities such as storytelling, playing, and outdoor activities during holidays? If parents transform into Primary One monsters, how can children possibly remain unaffected?

Parents, please remember, children are only 5 to 6 years old and still do not know how to express the depression and pressure in their hearts. They may even be reluctant to show anger towards their parents, keeping their feelings bottled up inside. Even if it doesn’t lead to psychological illness, if the parent-child relationship is broken, it can be very difficult to repair. The trust between parent and child is like a piece of paper; once you crumple it, you can never return it to its original state.

This article may sound a bit preachy, and I don’t know if considering the psychological changes in children when choosing a school counts as a strategy or tip. I only know that parents are always anxious about their children’s future, but please remember the wish you often expressed when your child was born: “To grow up healthy and happy, and to become a useful person is enough.” But when faced with considerations for Primary One, have you forgotten your original intention?

22三月2024

 

撰文:八爪魚家長梁永樂先生

 

一自行分配學位報名已告截止,家長「買定離手」只好聽天由命,現時至放榜期間的一段日子,於政府派位制度下唯一可做就是「呆等」。仍有小部分直資和私立學校接受報名,不甘心準備參與統一派位大抽獎的家長,可盡力一試直資和私立學校,而且坊間有不少網頁都有關於自資和私立的報名截止時間的列表。至於已報讀直資和私立學校的學生家長,尤其是大包圍的家長,現時全力籌劃密集式面試之餘,筆者亦不得不提醒家長要以孩子的心理健康為最優先考慮。

 

密集式面試殘害孩子心理

人類總是愛重複犯錯,每年 9 至 10 月面試高峰期剛過去,社會上都有不少有心人和關懷孩子心理健康的機構提醒,勿讓密集式面試殘害孩子的心理。以筆者記憶所及,最驚嚇的報紙標題是「難抵密集式升小一面試 5 歲女童抑鬱想跳樓」。小小5、6 歲人兒,仍不知道小學生活是怎樣的一回事,學校優劣是否名校,全因為家長的形容「這間是名校,但入了另一間就『大鑊』」等等,令孩子不明所以,於是產生沉重壓力。曾有精神科醫生或團體調查,不少孩子因此出現抑鬱及焦慮症病徵,兼有尋死念頭,需即時接受治療。

 

鬱悶在心有口難言

猶記得當日做記者的年代,筆者訪問資深校長、精神科醫生,部分孩子性格比較內向和慢熱,在最忙時,可能一天走幾場面試,與大批陌生校長和老師恭恭敬敬地玩遊戲,扮用心對答,事後家長又反覆追問「遊戲、對答」的內容,甚至無端端被罵或指導回答內容,一時間難免無法承受。

筆者自己成為家長後,更加緊記著該精神科醫生所言,家長不單要留意孩子的生活習慣轉變,例如忽然對平日愛好失去興趣,看電視、讀書和玩具,全部放在一邊等等不正常改變,更重要是家長應留意自己的改變,家長有否因為替孩子準備履歷表和緊張面試,而在家變身成為「Hulk」 般長期憤怒狀態,或者與孩子講故事、玩耍和放假戶外活動等等親子活動全部暫停。試問家長變升小一怪獸,孩子怎可能獨善其身呢?

家長尤其請緊記,孩子只有5 至6歲,仍未懂得表達心中的鬱悶及壓力,甚至不捨得向父母發脾氣,鬱在心裡口難開。即使不至於心理病,萬一親子關係破裂,也再難修復。親子之間的信任就像紙張,當你把它弄皺後,你永遠都不能再把它回復原狀。

本篇比較苦口婆心,筆者不知道顧及孩子升小的心理變化算不算是選校策略或貼士,只知道家長總會緊張孩子的前途,但請記得當孩子出生時,經常掛在口邊對孩子的期許是:「健康快樂成長,做個有用的人就足夠了」,但當小一前途問題的考慮來臨,你有忘記初衷嗎?

15三月2024

 

撰文:香港家庭福利會註冊社工區家樑

 

2012 年,是香港中學會考文憑試的第一年。兩年前,對於中三學生們及家長如何面對選科及升學的問題,筆者已十分憂心。當年今日,有學生及家長選擇離場,升學外地。當然大部分的學生及家長都需要面對轉變,而我只能在有限的公開資料及分析中為他們引路。對於我和其中一位家長而言,這是一條信心之路。

 

這位家長曾在這兩年間不斷問關於新學制及考試的問題,其實他每次都上網更新最新的學制資料,並已成為專家了,仍不斷問老師及社工他對子女的支援及教導是否恰當。相處日久,筆者發現他其實是一位好爸爸,只是對兒子沒有信心,而且他對自己的管教能力亦失去信心。

 

因為他的信心建立在兒子的成績之上,行為之中,家居之內。筆者說的成績及行為,相信大家都會想到是考試成績及兒子平日的溫習態度。那麼家居之內呢?由於這位好爸爸的工作時間長,每天都要晚上 9 時後才回家,正是晚飯的時間。在言談中,他常提及回家看到兒子故作輕鬆,追看電視劇的情況。結果,他對兒子的了解和教導就只有在家居之內了,並對兒子表達在學校學習及課後補習的情況就投了不信任票。


結果「你可不可以讓我看到你用功讀書呢?」就成為這位爸爸的口頭禪。雖然兒子心裡很想向父親解釋:「我每天由上課到深夜都努力做功課,難道連中場休息也不可以嗎?」但是,他口中卻回應道:「哦」,令這位父親的心中就只有無奈的憂慮。

 

「信心」是一件很奇妙的事,當我們看到孩子的成績進步了,分數高了,自然就有信心。但是,已成事實的事情又何需信心呢?我們生活中的信心,部分由親身經驗所轉化,但是真正的「信心」是事情未發生之前,對事情還有希望及良好的意願。不要小看一句「以你的能力,還可以發揮得更好」,在成績不如理想的時候,即使淡淡的一句說話,亦足以使孩子重拾自信,動力倍增。被別人信任是增強正面行為的元素之一,用正面的鼓勵字句表達你良好的意願,會為兒子帶來希望。在工作的還境中,你的上司及客戶對你工作的認同及信任,已足夠讓你回家有輕鬆的心情。而兒子等待爸爸的期盼是「想跟你安靜地吃一頓飯」,這是一個 16 歲的高中生哭著說的。

 

各位親愛的家長,你們是看顧子女成長的見證人,他們不是一出生就失敗的。在過去的十數寒暑中,你們使孩子成功地出生、長大及學習。他們努力地轉身、走路及上課,這是你們成功的印記,「以你們的能力,還可以發揮得更好」。請重拾對自己及他們的「信心」,不要放棄。

 

15三月2024

 

Written by: Au Ka Leung, Registered Social Worker, Hong Kong Family Welfare Society

 

In 2012, it was the first year of the Hong Kong Diploma of Secondary Education Examination (HKDSE). Two years prior, I was already deeply concerned about how Form 3 students and their parents were dealing with the selection of subjects and the progression to higher education. Today, some students and parents have chosen to study abroad, leaving the local education scene. Of course, most students and parents have to face these changes, and I can only guide them with the limited public information and analysis available. For me and one of the parents, this journey is one of building confidence.

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This parent has been asking questions about the new education system and exams over the past two years. In fact, he has become an expert by constantly updating himself with the latest information online, yet he still frequently asks teachers and social workers if his support and guidance for his children are appropriate. Over time, I realized that he is indeed a good father, but he lacks confidence in his son and his parenting skills.

 

His confidence is built on his son’s academic performance, behavior, and home environment. When discussing academic performance and behavior, one might think of exam scores and the child’s attitude towards revision. But what about the home environment? Due to his long working hours, this father only returns home after 9 pm, which is dinner time. He often mentions seeing his son pretending to be relaxed and watching TV dramas upon his return. Consequently, his understanding and guidance for his son are limited to what happens at home, leading him to distrust his son’s descriptions of school learning and after-school tutoring.

As a result, “Can you let me see you studying hard?” became this father’s mantra. Although the son wanted to explain to his father, “I work hard on my homework from class until late at night, can’t I even have a break?” his response was merely, “Oh,” leaving the father with nothing but helpless worries.

 

“Confidence” is a curious thing; when we see our children’s grades improve and their scores go up, we naturally feel confident. But why do we need confidence for something that has already happened? The confidence in our lives is partly transformed from personal experience, but true “confidence” is about having hope and good intentions for something that has not yet happened. Do not underestimate the power of saying, “With your abilities, you can do even better,” especially when the results are not as expected. Even a simple phrase can be enough to boost a child’s self-confidence and motivation. Being trusted by others is one of the elements that strengthen positive behavior. Expressing your good intentions with positive encouragement can bring hope to your son. In the workplace, the recognition and trust from your boss and clients are enough to allow you to come home with a relaxed mood. What a 16-year-old high school student, crying, longs for from his father is “to have a quiet meal with you.”

 

Dear parents, you are the witnesses to your children’s growth; they are not born failures. Over the past years, you have successfully brought them into the world, helped them grow, and learn. They have made efforts to turn over, walk, and attend classes, marking your success, “With your abilities, you can do even better.” Please regain “confidence” in yourself and them, and do not give up.

8三月2024

 

撰文:Steps Education 課程發展總監梁嘉敏小姐 

 

多家長都會問全人教育是甚麼?如果從中國人幾千年源遠流長的智慧來說,便是培育孩子的「德、智、體、群、美」;從心理學家的角度來說便是培養孩子的多元智能(Multiple Intelligence);從教育的角度來說,便是除了知識上的追求外,我們也得培養孩子的價值觀、態度、對藝術和文化的修為、待人處事、解決困難和思考能力等。再簡單一點,從凡夫俗子的角度來說,全人教育便是讓小朋友「瓣瓣掂」,成績好、朋友多、思想正面,音樂運動美術樣樣皆能,您想子女得到全人發展嗎? 

 

多元智能分七類 先天後天培育各佔半

 

今天先介紹坊間常說的多元智能,從心理學的角度探討全人教育。「多元智能」理論由美國哈佛大學卡納德教授於 1983 年所提出,他發現智能至少可分為七種,分別是語言智能、數學邏輯智能、視覺空間智能、音樂智能、肢體運動智能、人際溝通智能及個人內省智能。 

 

談到「智能」,家長會聯想到天才或者是天賦的才能。究竟智能是天生的,還是經後天培育呢?其實一個人的智能,天生佔一部分,後天也佔一部分,每個孩子天生的智能都有一個範圍,譬如說IQ100-120,哪麼無論您做甚麼,給他多少刺激,他的IQ都不可能高於120,他怎麼也不可能如愛因斯坦般聰明。哪麼,我們還需要培養孩子的多元智能嗎?當然要吧!因為孩子的IQ停留在100,還是發揮到120,便要靠後天的栽培了! 

 

每項智能同樣重要

 

那該怎樣培育呢?做練習?上課?出外見識?做運動聽音樂?其實各種不同的智能都有不同的栽培方法。學者之所以提出多元智能,是要提醒大家,當父母都想孩子成績好,對孩子的學科,例如中英數加以栽培的時候,千萬別忘了其他的智能對孩子同樣重要,尤其是人際溝通技能及個人內省智能。要是缺乏其中一項,孩子又怎樣在社會上生存呢?因此當我們為孩子挑選課程時,千萬別只選學科班、語言班或認字班,我們應該停一停、想一想,除了成績以外,孩子在哪個範疇還有不足的地方?孩子與人的溝通能力怎樣?分析能力怎樣?個人內省能力怎樣?如果孩子的溝通能力不好,家長是否應該挑選一些讓孩子與人有足夠空間溝通的課程如戲劇班,讓他多一點表達自己呢? 

 

記得筆者今天所講「多元智能」背後的意義,停一停、想一想,孩子學術以外其他方面的發展吧!

8三月2024

 

Written by: Ms. Carmen Leung, Director of Curriculum Development, Steps Education

 

Many parents ask what holistic education is.From the perspective of the wisdom of the Chinese people that has been passed down for thousands of years, it is the cultivation of a child’s “morality, intelligence, physical fitness, social skills, and aesthetics”; from the perspective of psychologists, it is the cultivation of a child’s multiple intelligences; from the perspective of education, it is not only the pursuit of knowledge, but also the cultivation of a child’s values, attitudes, artistic and cultural accomplishments, interpersonal skills, problem-solving, and thinking abilities. To put it more simply, from the perspective of ordinary people, holistic education is about making sure the child is well-rounded, with good grades, many friends, positive thoughts, and capable in music, sports, and art. Do you want your child to achieve holistic development?

 

Multiple intelligences are divided into seven categories, with innate and acquired factors each playing a role.

 

Today, let’s introduce the commonly mentioned multiple intelligences from the perspective of psychology. The “Theory of Multiple Intelligences” was proposed by Professor Howard Gardner of Harvard University in 1983. He found that intelligence can be divided into at least seven types, which are linguistic intelligence, logical-mathematical intelligence, spatial-visual intelligence, musical intelligence, bodily-kinesthetic intelligence, interpersonal intelligence, and intrapersonal intelligence.

 

When it comes to “intelligence,” parents might think of genius or innate talent. Is intelligence innate, or is it nurtured? In fact, a person’s intelligence is partly innate and partly nurtured. Every child’s innate intelligence has a range, for example, an IQ of 100-120. No matter what you do or how much stimulation you provide, their IQ will not exceed 120, and they cannot become as smart as Einstein. So, do we still need to cultivate children’s multiple intelligences? Of course! Whether a child’s IQ stays at 100 or reaches 120 depends on how they are nurtured later on!

 

Each type of intelligence is equally important.

 

So, how should they be nurtured? Through practice? Classes? Experiencing the world? Sports and music? In fact, different types of intelligence require different nurturing methods. Scholars propose the theory of multiple intelligences to remind everyone that while parents want their children to achieve good grades and cultivate their academic subjects, such as Chinese, English, and Mathematics, they should not forget that other intelligences are equally important to the child, especially interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences. If a child lacks in one of these areas, how can they survive in society? Therefore, when selecting courses for children, do not just choose academic, language, or literacy classes. We should pause and think, besides academic performance, in what areas does the child need improvement? How are the child’s communication skills? Analytical skills? Introspective skills? If a child’s communication skills are lacking, should parents choose courses that provide ample space for interaction, such as drama classes, to help them express themselves more?

 

Remember the significance behind “multiple intelligences” discussed today. Pause and think about the development of your child beyond academics!

1三月2024

Organic food = nutritious?

 

Written by: Registered Dietitian (Public Health) (UK) Phoebe Wu

 

Many families choose to consume organic foods such as fruits, vegetables, and eggs. When asked why they choose organic foods, most people respond: “Because organic food is safer and more nutritious.” In this issue, I will teach what organic farming is.

 

What is organic farming?

 

Organic farming refers to agricultural activities conducted using agricultural, biological, or mechanical methods instead of synthetic substances made by humans. It does not use chemical fertilizers, pesticides, or genetically modified crops, but rather utilizes local natural resources and adheres to the natural ecological order. The scope of consideration is very broad, for example: there must be a buffer zone of at least 2 meters between the organic production area of a farm and the non-organic areas to prevent contamination of the crops.

 

Crop and variety selection and diversity

  • Seeds or vegetative propagating organs used for organic cultivation must be organically certified.
  • Farms must implement crop rotation and intercropping and should diversify as much as possible to avoid monoculture.

 

Nutrient Management

  • Fertilization must be done in appropriate amounts to prevent nutrient excess and environmental pollution.
  • The fertilizers used on the farm should be harmless to the ecological environment in terms of their source, quality, application rate, and method of application.
  • Fallowing should be practiced to allow the land to recover its fertility.
  • The use of chemically synthesized fertilizers, human excreta, sewage sludge, and chemical waste is prohibited.

 

Management of diseases, pests, and weeds, as well as crop growth

  • Implement appropriate fertilization and irrigation management.
  • Use physical methods, including manual labor, fencing, light, sound frequency, heat, etc.
  • Plant crops that have pest control functions (including repelling pests and attracting natural enemies).
  • The use of chemically synthesized herbicides, fungicides, insecticides, and other pesticides is prohibited.

 

Hence, organic farming focuses more on ecological protection during the cultivation process. However, in terms of nutritional value, the difference between organic and non-organic food is actually not significant. Moreover, there is no evidence to suggest that children who eat organic food are healthier or smarter. Of course, since organic food is more environmentally friendly and uses fewer chemical pesticides, I also encourage everyone to purchase more of it.

Conventional Farming vs. Organic Farming

 

Conventional Farming Organic Farming
Safety More commonly uses chemical pesticides and fertilizers. Fewer chemical pesticides.

-Focuses on the ecological environment.

-Uses non-genetically modified materials.

Nutrition No significant difference
Health Similarly, attention should be paid to the principles of a healthy diet low in fat, sugar, and salt.

 

1三月2024

 

撰寫:註冊營養學家 ( 公共衛生 )  (英國)吳珮瑜 (Phoebe)

 

多家庭都會選擇食用有機食品,如水果、蔬菜、雞蛋等,當被問及選購有機食品的原因時,大部分人都會回答:「因為有機食物較安全,又有營養。」今期筆者就教大家甚麼是有機種植。

 

什麼是有機種植?

有機種植是指以農業、生物或機械方法,代替人工合成的物質以進行農耕活動。不採用化學肥料、不用殺蟲劑或基因改造作物,善用當地的天然資源,順應自然生態的規律,當中顧及的範圍甚廣,例如:農場的有機生產區與非有機範圍之間,必須設有相距不少於 2 米的緩衝區,以防止作物受污染。

 

作物及品種的選擇及多樣性

  • 用於有機耕種的種子或營養繁殖器官都應經有機認證
  • 農場必須實行輪作及間作,並應盡量多樣化,避免單一種植

 

養分的管理

  • 須適量施肥,以防養分過剩,亦避免污染環境
  • 農場內使用的肥料,其來源、質素、施用量及施用方法應對生態環境無害
  • 應透過休耕,讓土地恢復肥力
  • 禁止使用化學合成的肥料、人類排泄物、污水廠污泥和化學廢料

 

病蟲草害及作物生長的管理

  • 採取合適的施肥及灌溉管理
  • 使用物理方法,包括人手、圍欄、光、聲頻、熱力等
  • 種植具防治蟲害作用(包括驅蟲及吸引天敵)的植物
  • 禁止使用化學合成的除草劑、殺菌劑、殺蟲劑及其他農藥

 

由此可見,有機種植是指種植過程中較注重生態保護,但於營養價值而言,有機食物與非有機食物的分別其實不大,更未有證據顯示進食有機食物的小朋友會更健康或更聰明。當然,由於有機食物較環保和少用化學農藥,筆者亦鼓勵大家多選購!

常規種植 vs 有機種植

 

常規種植 有機種植
安全 較常用化學農藥、肥料 化學農葯少

注重生態環境

使用非基因改造物資

營養 沒有大分別
健康 同樣需要注意低脂、低糖、低鹽的健康飲食原則

 

23二月2024

 

Written by: Ms. Fung Chi Hei, Game Therapist, Lok Sin Tong Leung Kau Kui Primary School

 


I previously participated in a professional exchange activity for teachers in Taiwan and was impressed by the emphasis on using exercise to cultivate children’s growth in the Taiwanese education system. This experience provided new inspiration, which I hope to share with parents. One of the schools visited during the exchange can be described as the elementary school version of a sports academy. Upon entering the school, the students welcomed the visitors with a government-promoted fitness routine. They performed various warm-up exercises in unison, exuding a lively spirit akin to tiger cubs, making me feel like they had truly entered a forest full of tiger cubs.

 

Exercise Strengthens Children’s Learning Abilities

 

Principal Liu of the Tiger Forest Elementary School stated that the school is a key focus school designated by the government, with a special emphasis on students’ physical development. The school believes that exercise can strengthen students’ learning abilities. They have adopted the “Anytime Exercise” program based on the research of John J. Ratey, MD, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. This program advocates for students to be engaged in exercise at all times, hence the name “Anytime.” During breaks, students would run to any part of the playground to exercise, some playing dodgeball, some climbing the monkey bars, and others playing badminton. All students enjoy every moment of exercise.

The Benefits of Exercise: Strengthening Brain Function

 

It is well known that exercise has the effect of strengthening the body, and in Ratey’s research, he pointed out more about the benefits of exercise on the brain. He described the brain as the center for processing information, transmitting messages through different pathways using various transmitters (chemicals). During exercise, the brain can effectively produce more transmitters and strengthen pathways, allowing messages to be transmitted faster and more accurately.

 

Applying this theory to learning, students can enhance their brain function through exercise, thereby improving their learning effectiveness. Research has confirmed that exercise can improve students’ concentration and memory, both of which are essential for successful learning. Furthermore, exercise can stimulate the brain to produce dopamine (a chemical that brings happiness), enabling students to learn joyfully, which naturally leads to better academic performance.

 

How to Make Children Love Exercise?

 

For children to enjoy the time and benefits of exercise, parents must help them develop a love for exercise. Here are three suggestions:

 

1.Anytime Exercise

Provide children with more opportunities for exercise, suitable time, tools, and space, while ensuring the safety of the environment.

 

2.Healthy Exercise

Teach children to exercise for the sake of their health and emphasize the benefits of exercise on health.

 

3.Exercising Together

Exercise with children more often, enjoy the moments of exercise and savor the wonderful time with family.

23二月2024

撰文︰樂善堂梁黃蕙芳紀念學校遊戲治療師馮祉禧

 

者早前參與了台灣教師專業進修交流活動,見識到台灣的教育著重以運動培養孩子成長,讓我得到新的啓發,希望與各位父母分享。其中一所作交流的學校稱得上是體育學院小學版「虎林小學」。一踏進學校,同學便以政府推廣的健身操歡迎我們。他們一起跟着拍子舉手投足,做出各式各樣的熱身動作。讓人感到他們就像老虎仔一樣的精神活潑,而我像真的進入了充滿老虎仔的森林一般。

 

運動能強化孩子學習能力

 

虎林小學的劉校長説學校是政府重點學校,專注同學的體育發展,並相信透過運動能強化他們的學習能力。他們以哈佛醫學院精神科臨床助理教授 John J. Ratey, MD 的硏究為基礎,提倡零時運動計劃。此計劃提倡學生於所有時間都在運動,即零時 (Anytime)。每當小休時,學生便會跑到操場的任何一處做運動,他們有的玩躲避球、有的在攀鋼架、更有的打羽毛球。所有學生都享受每個運動的時刻。

運動的好處  強化大腦機能

 

眾所周知,運動有強身健體的功效,而在 Ratey 的研究之中,他指出更多有關運動對大腦的好處。他形容大腦是訊息處理中心,透過不同的傳遞者(化學物質)於不同路徑傳達訊息。在運動時,大腦能有效地生產更多傳遞者和強化路徑,使訊息傳得更快更準。

 

將理論應用於學習上,學生以運動強化大腦機能,再提升他們的學習成效。研究證實運動能提高學生專注力和記憶力,而這都是成功學習的必備條件。此外,運動能使大腦製造 Dopamine (令人有快樂感的化學物質),令學生能愉快地學習,成績自然會更加優秀。

 

如何讓孩子愛上運動?

 

為了讓孩子享受運動的時間和好處,家長必需讓孩子愛上運動,以下有三項建議:

 

零時運動

 

多讓孩子有運動的機會,如提供合宜的時間,工具和場地,同時家長要留意環境的安全。

 

健康運動

 

多教導孩子因愛健康而做運動,多提及運動對健康的好處。

 

 

 

一起運動

 

多與孩子一起運動,享受運動的時刻,享受親子的美好時光。

16二月2024

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist at the New Horizons Development Centre

 

Some parents have the following thoughts about rewards: “The original intention was to praise the child’s good performance, but now the reward seems to have become a bribe.” “He has become utilitarian, calculating the degree of his effort based on the size of the reward.” “Sometimes I even feel that the child has become greedy. The rewards that once attracted him no longer have the original effect. Only by providing richer rewards is he willing to make an effort.”

 

In fact, in the commercial society where adults are located, bosses also use rewards and bonuses to praise employees’ outstanding work performance and inspire employee morale. Many early childhood education experts have also proposed a reward system, using children’s favorite food, toys, etc., to train and cultivate their good behavior habits. Rewards have become our usual way, but parents’ worries are not unfounded. How can we reduce the side effects of rewards?

 

There are mainly two directions to reduce the side effects of rewards. One is that parents can change the type of rewards, and at the same time, they must not encourage children with money, otherwise it will make children prioritize money and everything will be based on materialism. The rewards given by parents can be changed from one-time enjoyment such as food, gradually transformed into long-term gifts, such as entertaining toys, academic stationery, etc., and later can be rewarded spiritually, such as parents giving certificates, applause and other non-material encouragement.

The second approach is that parents can gradually reduce the proportion of rewards given according to the following three criteria:

1.Increase the number of expected behaviors completed by the child before giving a reward.

Example: If parents expect the child to put the toys away in the toy box after playing, initially, parents may need to give stickers as encouragement for the child to be willing to tidy up the toys; afterwards, the child should put the toys in the toy box several times on their own before the parents give sticker rewards.

2.Raise the standard of requirements according to the child’s performance, and only give rewards after the child completes behaviors of higher difficulty.

Example: Initially, as long as the child puts all the toys in the box, they can be given sticker encouragement. Then the requirements can be raised, the child needs to put all the toys in the box, and carefully organize the toys and place them properly to get the sticker.

3.When the child is relaxed and happy or makes a request, parents can make demands on the child without providing rewards.

Example: The child requests to watch their favorite TV show, the parent proposes that the child needs to tidy up the toys into the toy box before they can watch TV.

 

Through these two principles, parents can systematically dilute the function of external material rewards, let children internalize the motivation behind completing good behaviors, gradually reduce dependence on external encouragement, and make them gain a sense of success from within as the main source of their learning motivation.

 

16二月2024

撰文:新領域潛能發展中心註冊教育心理學家彭智華

 

些家長對獎勵有以下的想法︰「原意是想讚賞孩子的良好表現,但現在獎品卻好像變成賄賂。」、「他變得功利,會以獎品之大小來計算自己努力的程度。」、「有時候我甚至覺得孩子變得貪得無厭,曾經吸引他的獎品也缺乏原來的效果了,要提供更豐富的獎品,他才願意付出努力。」

 

其實,成人身處的商業社會,老闆亦會以獎品、獎金的方式表揚員工傑出的工作表現,鼓舞員工士氣。不少幼兒教學專家亦提出獎賞制度,以孩子喜歡的食物、玩具等,訓練並培養他們建立良好行為的習慣。獎勵已經成為我們慣常採用的方式,但是,家長的擔憂也並非空穴來風。究竟怎樣才能減低獎賞的副作用呢?

 

減低獎賞副作用的方法主要有兩大方向。其一是家長可改變獎品的種類,同時切忌以獎金鼓勵孩子,否則會讓孩子以金錢掛帥,事事以物質主義為大前題。家長給予的獎品可由一次性享用的如食物,慢慢轉變為可長期享用的禮物,例如具娛樂性的玩具、學術性的文具等,及至後來則可以心靈上獎賞,如家長給予獎狀、掌聲等較非物質的鼓勵。

其二,家長可根據以下三種準則慢慢減少給予獎勵的比例︰

 

1. 提升孩子完成家長預期行為的數量,才給予獎勵。

例:若家長期望孩子玩完玩具後把玩具收拾到玩具箱中,起初家長可能要給予貼紙鼓勵,孩子才願意收拾玩具;其後,孩子應自行將玩具放在玩具箱數次,家長才給予貼紙獎勵。

 

2. 根據孩子表現提升要求的標準,孩子完成較高難度的行為後,才給予獎勵。

 

例:最初只要求孩子把所有玩具放進箱中,便能給予貼紙鼓勵。然後可提升要求,孩子需把所有玩具放進箱中,並認真整理玩具,擺放妥當才能得到貼紙。

 

3. 當孩子心情輕鬆愉快或提出請求時,家長可在不提供獎品的前提下,向孩子提出要求。

 

例:孩子要求觀看自己喜愛的電視節目,家長提出孩子需把玩具收拾到玩具箱中,才讓他觀看電視。

 

透過這兩大原則,家長便能有計劃地淡化外在物質獎賞的功用,讓孩子內化完成良好行為背後的動力,漸漸減少對外在鼓勵的依賴,並使他們因內在獲得成功感作為他們學習動機的主要來源。

9二月2024

Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing 

 

Everyone has creativity and artistic potential. If properly nurtured, it can enhance one’s moral sentiments and make life more perfect. In the artistic atmosphere, diverse activities inspire individuals’ creativity, aesthetic sense, and diverse abilities, promoting holistic development. ‘Love’ is the driving force of creation. In a free, democratic, safe, and harmonious environment and atmosphere, it is the expression of ‘love,’ emphasizing mutual tolerance, acceptance of different opinions, and respect for and acceptance of others. So, how can parent-child creative art creation express ‘love’? Here, the author shares his views with all parents.

 

The significance of parent-child creative art creation:

  • Art education starts with individuals. Parents try to engage in artistic creation to cultivate their children’s artistic accomplishments.
  • The first lesson of art education begins with ‘listening’ and ‘acceptance.’ Parents learn to accept the diverse ways in which children express their creativity.
  • Through the joint participation and experience of parent-child art creation, parents can get closer to and understand their children’s hearts.
  • Parent-child art creation helps children to understand themselves and release emotions and stress.
  • By integrating an atmosphere of mutual appreciation and respect, it reduces parental stress and anxiety, thereby enhancing parent-child relationships.
  • Making parent-child fall in love with creation, integrating art into life, and enhancing the quality of life.

 

Artistic Cultivation Tips

 

  • Cultivate a kind of knowledge in being human and enhance the ability to share, that is, "empathy.’
  • According to the research of psychologist Hoffman on the development of human empathy, "empathy’ is the ability to understand the feelings of others and to put oneself in their shoes.
  • The three steps of "empathy’: (1) Imagine standing in the other person’s position (2) Identify the other person’s true feelings (3) Convey understanding and feelings to the other person.
  • Empathy’ is an important ability in interpersonal relationships. Only those with "empathy’ can establish good interpersonal relationships, self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility.
  • Children at the age of 2 to 3 can already understand the feelings of others. In order for children to be compassionate, possess "empathy,’ and understand love and care for others, it is very important for parents to lead by example.
9二月2024

 

撰文:Pario Arts 李素貞主任

 

個人均擁有創意和藝術潛能,假如得到適當培育的話,可提升個人的美善情操,讓生命更臻完美。在藝術氛圍的營造下,藉多樣化活動啟發個人的創造力、美感和多元能力,以促進全人發展。而「愛」是創造的原動力,在自由、民主、安全及和諧的環境和氣氛下,即「愛的表現」,亦是強調互相包容,悅納不同的意見,尊重別人和接納別人。那麼親子創意藝術創作如何可以表現「愛」呢?筆者在此和各位家長分享自己的看法。

 

親子創意藝術創作的意義

 

  • 藝術教育由個人做起,家長嘗試接觸藝術創作,從而培養孩子的藝術涵養
  • 藝術教育的第一課從「聆聽」和「接納」開始,家長學習接納孩子多元創意的表現方式
  • 透過親子共同參與和體驗藝術創作的過程,家長能更貼近和了解孩子的心
  • 親子藝術創作有助孩子認識自己、釋放情緒與壓力
  • 融入互相欣賞和互相尊重的氣氛,減輕親職壓力與焦慮,進而增進親子關係
  • 讓親子愛上創作,把藝術融入生活中,提升生活的素質

 

藝術培育錦囊

  • 培養一種做人的學問,提升一種分享的能力,即「同理心」。
  • 根據心理學家赫夫曼 (Hoffman) 研究人類同理心 (empathy) 的發展指出,「同理心」就是體會他人的情意,設身處地為他人設想的能力。
  • 「同理心」三步曲:(1)站在對方的立場設想 (2)辨識對方的真正感受 (3)將了解和感受傳達給對方。
  • 「同理心」是與人相處的一項重要能力,具有「同理心」的人,才能建立良好的人際關係、自律及責任感。
  • 兒童在 2 至 3 歲的階段,已能了解別人的感受。為使孩子有愛心、具備「同理心」的人、懂得愛與關懷別人,父母以身作則是非常重要的。
2二月2024

Written by: geneDecode Genetics Education Professional Team

 

Innate potential is an ability that everyone is born with, a genetic characteristic that is present before growth. From birth, each child possesses their own unique talents. In the process of a child’s growth, emotional intelligence, IQ, and the ability to withstand setbacks, among others, are all necessary conditions for success. Among these conditions, each child’s talents are different. Can we discover their innate talents in the innocent eyes of children? Can we be sure to capture these talents and guide the children on a path of growth that suits them?

 

Here is a mother’s experience:

 

‘Amy is 4 years old this year. As she grows up, she is becoming more and more curious about the things around her. Amy’s father noticed that she seemed to show a special interest in doodling when she was 2 years old. I casually gave her some paint, and she could use a brush, crayons, or her fingers, even a bottle of ketchup, to paint. No one knows what she is painting, maybe only she knows. Amy’s father and I both think that she should be allowed to grow freely. I found that she seems to like painting very much. If she is really good at it, I think we will definitely cultivate her well.’

 

Amy’s parents are wise. Each child has different talents hidden in different fields. When a child’s talent is found, if it can be cultivated and paid attention to by parents and teachers, it will save a lot of detours in the direction of success. However, the most important thing is for children to have a sense of success from a young age and grow up to be happy and confident people.

 

Scientific research confirms that the period of infant growth is the fastest and most sensitive period of brain development, and it is also the best time to develop a child’s talents. The cultivation of talents is time-sensitive, and scientists call this irreplaceable stage the ‘talent time window

 

Only at the most important and appropriate moments, with the right education and cultivation, can innate potential develop into real abilities. Missing these key moments of development, a child’s talents may relatively weaken, and their innate potential may no longer stand out. Here are some key moments for reference:

 

Key Moments for Talent Development

 

Memory: 12 months to 12 years old

Emotional Intelligence: 2 months to 22 years old

IQ: Birth to 13 years old

Music: 2 months to 5 years old

Drawing: Birth to 15 years old

Sports: Birth to 12 years old

 

‘Whether Amy can become a painter when she grows up, I can’t confirm, we are just observing. It can be said that it is completely based on feeling. Talent is hard to say, maybe she has talents in other areas, or sometimes it is not obvious, then it is hard for us to discover. We can only do our best and observe her from as many angles as possible.’

 

This is not just a worry for Amy’s mother. Every parent dreams of their child’s success, but the key is how to accurately discover a child’s talents.

 

Many parents are trying, hoping to find clues in their child’s behavior, hoping to find ways to discover a child’s talents early. Those parents who seem to have found a method, according to their own judgment and willingness, send their children to various specialty classes and youth classes to learn various skills, hoping that one day, they can become experts in this field. For this goal, parents spare no effort to invest a lot of money and time.

However, doing so seems to not only waste a lot of money and time, but also those originally intelligent children are more likely to lose their spirit in the multitude of educational directions, their talents are delayed or even obliterated. They passively move from one tutoring class to another specialty class, learning things they neither like nor are good at.

 

Childhood, for children, is no longer a memory of happiness and beauty, but of pressure and worry. The saddest thing is that when they grow up, they have more complaints about their parents.

 

Is there a better way to understand a child’s talents, personality, and traits, so as to teach students in accordance with their aptitude and cultivate them in a directed way?

2二月2024

撰文:geneDecode基因教育專業團隊

 

天賦潛能是每個人與生俱來的一種能力,是成長之前就已具備的遺傳特性。從出生起,每個孩子都具備各自與眾不同的天賦。在孩子的成長過程中,情商、智商和承受挫折的能力等等,都是邁向成功的必要條件。而在這些條件中,每個孩子的天賦都不盡相同。在孩子純真的雙眸中,我們能夠發現他們與生俱來的天賦嗎?我們確定能捕捉這些天賦,為孩子指引一條適合他們的成長之路嗎?

 

以下是一個媽媽的經歷:

「Amy今年4 歲,她日漸長大,也對身邊愈來愈多的事物充滿了好奇。Amy的父親發現,她2 歲時似乎對塗鴉表現出特別的興趣。我隨便給她一點顏料,她能用畫筆、調色筆或手指,甚至是裝番茄醬的瓶子來畫畫。誰也不知道她在畫甚麼,也許只有她自己知道。我和Amy的父親都認為該讓她自由的成長。我發現她好像很喜歡畫東西,如果她真的很擅長在這方面,我想我們肯定會好好培養她。」

 

Amy的父母是明智的,每個孩子在不同的領域都潛藏著不盡相同的天賦,當孩子的天賦被找到後,若能得到家長和老師們的培養與關注,將會在把握成功的方向上少走冤枉路。然而最重要是孩子從小獲得成功感,長大成為快樂自信的人。

 

科學研究證實,人類在嬰幼兒成長期,是大腦發展最快和最敏感的時期,同時也是對孩子進行天賦開發的最佳時期。天賦的培養是有時間性的,科學家把這種錯過了就無法彌補的階段稱為「天賦時效窗」。

只有在最重要和最適當的時刻,進行恰當的教育與培養,天賦潛能才能發展成真正的能力。錯過這些發展的關鍵時刻,孩子天賦相對就會減弱,天賦潛能就可能變得不再突出。以下是一些關鍵時刻作為參考:

 

天賦發展的關鍵時刻

 

記憶力:12 個月至12 歲

情商:2 個月到 22 歲

智商:初生到 13 歲

音樂:2 個月至 5 歲

繪畫:初生到 15 歲

運動:初生到 12 歲

 

「Amy 長大後是否能成為畫家,我並不能夠確認,我們也只是在觀察。可以說,完全憑感覺。天賦這東西很難說,或許她有其他方面的天賦,也可能有時候表現得不明顯,那我們就很難發現。我們只能盡力而為,盡量多角度的去觀察她。」

 

這並不是Amy母親一個人的煩惱。望子成龍是所有父母的夢想,但如何準確發掘孩子的天賦,就是關鍵所在。

 

眾多的父母們都在嘗試,希望在孩子的行為中發現蛛絲馬跡,希望尋找到能夠早期發現孩子天賦的各種手段。那些似乎已經找到方法的父母們,根據自己的判斷和意願,將孩子送到各種特長班和少年班學習各種技能,希望有一天,他們能夠成為這方面的專才。為了這一目標,家長們不遺餘力地投入巨大的財力和時間。

可是,這樣做似乎不僅浪費大量金錢和時間,那些原本聰慧的孩子,更容易在衆多的教育方向中迷失了靈氣,他們的天賦被延誤甚至抹煞。他們被動地從一個輔導班轉到另一個特長班,學習他們並不喜愛也不擅長的東西。

 

童年,對於孩子再也不是快樂和美好的記憶,而是壓力與煩惱,最可悲的是,他們長大以後,更多的是對父母的抱怨。

 

有更好的方法去了解孩子的天賦、個性及特質,從而能夠因材施教,有方向地培育嗎?

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